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No. 1 - Opening Chorus


Men: We gather at the Dingley Arms
to tell about the country's charms;
And deeds of sport that find report
Would certainly amaze you,
For here we boast about our skill
At hunting or the boxing mill,
And sow the seeds of other deeds
To terrify and daze you.
Schoolgirls: At sound of bell with stately walk
We all adjourn for fun and talk,
And glad we are to 'scape the rule
That holds us strictly there in school.
Contraltos: We praise the man, his name we bless
Who first invented school recess,
So do not be surprised if we
Depart from strict propriety.
Miss Tompkins: Young ladies, I am much surprised.
Girls: Oh, do not be offended, Miss.
Miss Tompkins: Young ladies, I am scandalized.
Girls: No scandal was intended, Miss.
Miss Tompkins: Since you forget the lessons taught in maidenly decorum,
I'll ask you kindly on the spot to carefully run o'er 'em.
Girls: In our lessons we are told
We should never be too bold.
Quiet modesty in maids is most diverting.
And there's one who says "Beware
Of the lion in his lair,
Of the man who has a tendency to flirting."
Though we're up in trigonometry,
Geography, geometry,
All languages, theologies and isms...
We can draw the one equation
That there's danger in flirtation,
And that words of love are vacant cynicisms.
Miss Tompkins: Heads up, eyes bright!
Don't smile; that's right.
Girls: Bearing customary of the school, of the school.
We're contrary if we vary
The instruction tutelary
Of Miss Tompkins' seminary and its rule.
Men: Maidens gentle and demure,
We're emphatically sure
There is something we can add if you'll but try it.
Girls: Though our principal is near,
And her discipline we fear,
We are temptingly persuaded to defy it.
Miss Tompkins: Why young ladies, you forget yourselves
And you sirs! do not fret yourselves.
Men: Your pardon, but our aim was philanthropic.
Miss Tompkins: Do not listen; turn your faces,
For your walk now take your places;
For young Misses in their teens this is no topic.
Eyes down! you know; now march!
Girls: Although cost of taking chances
May be dear, may be dear,
It enhances the romances
Of impressionable fancies
When attendant circumstances are severe.
The sounding bell our fate doth tell,
It sounds the knell of talk, of talk,
Men: You had better be contrary,
Do not be afraid to vary
Your demeanor customary at the school.

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