G&S Bridge Quotations by Situation

Gilbert and Sullivan Archive

G&S Quotations for Bridge Bidding Situations

By Paul McShane

Situation	No.	Opera	Act	Character	Quote

*I - Good news!*
A. Excellent situation	1	Thespis	I	SPARKEION:	On second thoughts, the opportunity's so good it don't admit of improvement.
	2	Trial by Jury	-	CHORUS:	Oh, joy unbounded!
	3	HMS Pinafore	I	CHORUS:	Oh joy, oh rapture unforeseen,
					For now the sky is all serene;
	4	Iolanthe	I	Lord CHANCELLOR:	It has no kind of fault or flaw,
	5	The Mikado	I	KO-KO:	Wafted by a favouring gale
					As one sometimes is in trances,
	6	The Mikado	I	NANKI-POO:	The threatened cloud has passed away
	7	The Mikado	I	YUM-YUM:	And brightly shines the morning day;
	8	The Gondoliers	I	ANTONIO:	We're happy as happy can be, tra la -
B. Go for it!	9	Patience	I	BUNTHORNE:	Such an opportunity may not occur again.
	10	The Grand Duke	II	CHORUS:	Let us make of this moment the most,
					We may not be so lucky again.
C. What can we lose?	11	Thespis	II	THESPIS:	if he fails there's no harm done; if he succeeds it's a distinct gain
	12	The Mikado	I	POOH-BAH:	I should have no hesitation in saying "Chance it -"
D. Found a fit!	13	The Sorcerer	I	CHORUS:	With heart and with voice
					Let us welcome this mating
	14	HMS Pinafore	I	JOSEPHINE:	But fear not, I have a heart
	15	Pirates of Penzance	I	PIRATE KING:	We rather think that we're
					Not altogether void
	16	Patience	II	GROSVENOR:	I have long wished for a reasonable pretext for such a change as you suggest. It has come at last.
	17	Ruddigore	II	GHOSTS:	He answers to our call!
					We do not ask for more.
	18	The Gondoliers	I	FIAMETTA:	We have hearts for them, in plenty,
					They have hearts, but all too few,
	19	The Gondoliers	II	CHORUS:	Oh, wondrous revelation!
	20	Utopia Limited	I	UTOPIANS:	That's trump-call, and they're all trump cards -
E. Good things coming!	21	Iolanthe	I	STREPHON:	The prospect's not so bad,
					My heart so sore and sad
					May very soon be glad
	22	The Mikado	I	NANKI-POO:	Modified rapture!
	23	The Mikado	II	NANKI-POO:	The flowers that bloom in the spring,
					Tra la,
					Breathe promise of merry sunshine -
	24	Utopia Limited	II	TRIO:	At last a capital plan we've got;
F. Puzzle resolved!	25	The Mikado	I	PISH-TUSH:	And we are right, I think you'll say,
					To argue in this kind of way;
	26	The Gondoliers	II	QUARTET:	Quiet, calm deliberation
					Disentangles every knot.
	27	The Grand Duke	I	Dr. TANNHAUSER:	The way out of it is quite simple.
*II - Bad news:*
A. In trouble!	28	The Sorcerer	I	CONSTANCE:	My woe can find
					No hope, no solace, no alloy!
	29	The Sorcerer	II	CONSTANCE:	Dear friends, take pity on my lot,
					My cup is not of nectar!
	30	The Sorcerer	II	J. W. WELLS:	This last catastrophe is overpowering!
	31	The Sorcerer	II	J. W. WELLS:	Oh agony, rage, despair!
					Oh, where will this end - oh, where?
					I should very much like to know!
	32	HMS Pinafore	I	RALPH:	We have pain and sorrow too before us!
	33	HMS Pinafore	II	Sir JOSEPH:	This is the consequence
					Of ill-advised asperity!
	34	Pirates of Penzance	I	DAUGHTERS:	We have missed our opportunity
					Of escaping with impunity;
	35	Patience	I	MAIDENS:	Sad and sorry is our lot!
	36	Iolanthe	I	FAIRY QUEEN:	Oh, I should be strong, but I am weak!
	37	Iolanthe	I	STREPHON:	.darkly looms the day,
					And all is dull and grey,
	38	Princess Ida	II	Lady PSYCHE:	But it would not do,
					The scheme fell through -
	39	The Mikado	I	POOH-BAH:	It's a hopeless case,
					As you may see,
	40	The Mikado	II	NANKI-POO:	Here's a pretty mess!
	41	The Mikado	II	KO-KO:	Here's a state of things!
	42	Ruddigore	II	Sir RUTHVEN:	My eyes are fully open to my awful situation -
	43	The Grand Duke	I	CHORUS:	My goodness me! What shall we do? Why, what a dreadful situation!
B. Not happy about it	44	The Sorcerer	I	ALEXIS:	I must nevertheless pocket my aversion, in deference to the great and good end I have in view.
	45	The Sorcerer	II	J. W. WELLS:	So be it! I submit! My fate is sealed.
	46	Iolanthe	I	Lord CHANCELLOR:	It nevertheless can't be denied
					That it has its inconvenient side.
	47	Iolanthe	I	FAIRIES:	A fearful prospect opens out,
					And who shall say
					What evils may
					Result in consequence!
	48	Iolanthe	II	Lord CHANCELLOR:	Though I fear the prospect's shady -
	49	Iolanthe	II	Lord CHANCELLOR:	Eventually, after a severe struggle with myself, I reluctantly - most reluctantly - consented.
	50	The Mikado	I	KO-KO:	Really, it hardly seems worth while!
	51	Ruddigore	I	DUET:	For duty, duty must be done;
					The rule applies to everyone,
					And painful though that duty be,
					To shirk the task were fiddle-de-dee!
C. Misfit	52	HMS Pinafore	I	RALPH:	The maiden treats my suit with scorn,
	53	Iolanthe	II	Lord MOUNTARARAT:	The only question is, which of us should give way to the other?
D. Partner, desist!	54	HMS Pinafore	II	Captain CORCORAN:	I try to speak with moderation,
					But you have gone too far.
	55	Iolanthe	I	Lord CHANCELLOR:	Recollect yourself, I pray,
					And be careful what you say -
	56	Yeomen of the Guard	II	JACK POINT:	It's a comfort to feel,
					If your partner should flit,
					Though you suffer a deal,
					They don't mind it a bit -
	57	Utopia Limited	I	TRIO:	You'd best take care -
					Please recollect we have not been consulted.
	58	The Grand Duke	I	JULIA:	Well, a nice mess you've got us into!
E. Probable loser	59	Patience	I	MAIDENS:	Alas, poor heart, go hide thyself away -
F. No help from partner	60	Patience	I	BUNTHORNE:	Do you know what it is to seek oceans and to find puddles?
	61	Patience	I	GROSVENOR:	Oh, misery! And yet I cannot question the propriety of your decision.
	62	Iolanthe	I	STREPHON:	She won't believe my statement, and declares we must be parted,
	63	The Mikado	I	NANKI-POO:	I saw that my suit was hopeless.
	64	The Mikado	I	KATISHA:	The hope I cherished
					All lifeless lies,
	65	The Gondoliers	I	GIUSEPPE:	Our views may have been hastily formed on insufficient grounds.
	66	Utopia Limited	I	King PARAMOUNT:	I try to make the best of it, but sometimes I find it very difficult - very difficult indeed.
*III - Asking*
A. Partner, tell me!	67	Thespis	I	SOLO:	What can we do
					To gain attention?
	68	Trial by Jury	-	JURYMEN:	On the merits of his pleadings
					We're at present in the dark!
	69	The Sorcerer	I	Mrs. PARTLET:	I'll probe him on the subject.
	70	HMS Pinafore	I	RALPH:	I have spoken, and I wait your word.
	71	The Gondoliers	I	QUINTET:	Why should we, in vain endeavour,
					Guess and guess and guess again?
	72	Utopia Limited	I	WISE MEN:	Its force all men confess,
	73	The Grand Duke	I	LUDWIG:	I bade him call -
					He said he would:
	74	The Grand Duke	II	ERNEST DUMKOPF:	At any risk I must gratify my urgent desire to know what is going on.
B. Partner, help me!	75	The Sorcerer	II	Lady SANGAZURE:	For pity's sake, recoil not thus from me!
	76	Patience	I	BUNTHORNE:	Overcome your diffidence and natural timidity,
	77	Iolanthe	II	Lord CHANCELLOR:	Well, I will nerve myself to another effort, and, if that fails, I resign myself to my fate!
	78	The Mikado	I	KO-KO:	Come, come, make an effort, there's a good nobleman.
	79	Ruddigore	I	ROBIN OAKAPPLE:	Silent is he, for he's modest and afraid -
					(Hey, but he's timid as a youth can be!)
	80	Utopia Limited	I	Capt. CORCORAN:	If sailor-like you'd play your cards,
					Unbend your sails and lower your yards,
	81	Utopia Limited	I	UTOPIANS:	Your lightest word will carry weight
					To our attentive ears.
C. Partner's decision	82	Iolanthe	II	Lord TOLLOLLER:	It's a difficult situation. It would be hardly delicate to toss up. On the whole we would rather leave it to you.
	83	The Mikado	I	CHORUS:	Don't hesitate
					Your choice to name,
*IV - Telling*
A. Giving information	84	The Gondoliers	I	MARCO:	I've no preference whatever -
	85	HMS Pinafore	I	LITTLE BUTTERCUP:	Red am I? . May be, for I have dissembled well.
	86	Patience	I	PATIENCE:	Pray don't misconstrue what I say -
	87	Iolanthe	I	PEERS:	Rank, it seems, is vital,
	88	Princess Ida	II	GRADUATES:	And all the knowledge we possess
					We mutually impart.
	89	The Grand Duke	I	LUDWIG:	I told him all,
					Both bad and good;
B. Minimum response	90	The Sorcerer	II	Dr. DALY:	Thank you for your kindly proffer -
					Good your heart, and full your coffer;
					Yet I must decline your offer -
	91	The Sorcerer	II	ALEXIS:	Prepare for sad surprises -
	92	HMS Pinafore	I	DICK DEADEYE:	Forbear, nor carry out the scheme you've planned;
	93	Patience	I	PATIENCE:	If you, with one so lowly, still
					Desire to be allied,
					Then you may take me, if you will,
	94	Iolanthe	II	LEILA:	In vain to us you plead -
	95	The Mikado	I	POOH-BAH:	With grief condign
					I must decline -
	96	Utopia Limited	I	King PARAMOUNT:	Every symptom tends to show
					You're decidedly de trop -
C. Partner in charge	97	The Sorcerer	I	Sir MARMADUKE:	I'm your servant most attentive -
					Most attentive to command!
	98	HMS Pinafore	I	Sir JOSEPH:	I never thought of thinking for myself at all.
	99	HMS Pinafore	I	DICK DEADEYE:	When people have to obey other people's orders, equality's out of the question.
	100	HMS Pinafore	I	RALPH:	You speak and I obey,
					It is my duty!
	101	HMS Pinafore	II	DICK DEADEYE:	Kind Captain, I've important information,
	102	Princess Ida	I	CHORUS:	To your command,
					On every hand,
					We dutifully bow!
	103	Princess Ida	I	ARAC:	Order comes to fight, ha! ha!
					Order is obeyed!
D. I have values!	104	Pirates of Penzance	II	PIRATES:	With all our faults, we love our Queen.
	105	Patience	II	Lady JANE:	Cheer up! I am still here.
	106	Iolanthe	I	PEERS:	Blow the trumpets, bang the brasses!
	107	Ruddigore	I	ROBIN OAKAPPLE:	If you wish in the world to advance
					Your merits you're bound to enhance,
					You must stir it and stump it,
					And blow your own trumpet,
					Or, trust me, you haven't a chance!
*V - Forward*
A. Time for action!	108	Thespis	I	MERCURY:	There's nothing for clever obscurity!
	109	Iolanthe	I	STREPHON:	No, no - delays are dangerous,
	110	The Mikado	I	PITTI-SING:	I expect it's all right. Must have a beginning, you know.
B. Courageous bid	111	Thespis	I	GODS:	Goodness gracious,
					How audacious!
	112	Trial by Jury	-	CHORUS:	Hearts with anxious fears are bounding ...
					Breathing hope and fear -
	113	The Sorcerer	II	ALINE:	All fear - all thought of ill I cast away!
	114	Pirates of Penzance	I	PIRATE KING:	Always act with the dictates of your conscience, and chance the consequences.
	115	Iolanthe	I	STREPHON:	Can I inactive see my fortunes fade?
					No, no!
	116	Iolanthe	II	Lord MOUNTARARAT:	Faint heart never won fair lady!
	117	Princess Ida	I	CYRIL:	This bold intrusion
					Shall justify.
	118	Ruddigore	I	Sir DESPARD:	With vigour unshaken
					This step shall be taken.
	119	Yeomen of the Guard	I	LEONARD MERYLL:	The scheme is rash and well may fail,
					But ours are not the hearts that quail,
	120	Yeomen of the Guard	I	TRIO:	We may succeed - who can foretell?
					May heaven help our hope -
C. Ignore partner	121	HMS Pinafore	I	DICK DEADEYE:	He means well, but he don't know.
	122	Patience	I	DRAGOONS:	We've been thrown over, we're aware,
					But we don't care - but we don't care!
	123	The Mikado	I	PITTI-SING:	Away, nor prosecute your quest -
					From our intention, well expressed,
					You cannot turn us!
D. Ignore opponents	124	Trial by Jury	-	USHER:	What he may say you needn't mind
	125	Patience	II	BUNTHORNE:	Sing "Booh to you-
					Pooh, pooh to you" -
					And that's what I shall say!
	126	Patience	II	BUNTHORNE:	I'll meet this fellow on his own ground and beat him on it.
	127	Utopia Limited	I	UTOPIANS:	No, no - it does not interfere
					With our enjoyment much.
E. Make surprise bid	128	Thespis	I	MERCURY:	I must do something to justify my position.
	129	Patience	II	Colonel CALVERLEY:	We trust that this is not without its effect.
	130	Patience	II	BUNTHORNE:	It would be an extreme measure, no doubt. Still --
	131	Utopia Limited	II	SCAPHIO:	That's exceedingly neat and new!
*VI - Whoa!*
A. Conservative bid	132	Trial by Jury	-	JURYMEN:	Oh, I was like that when a lad ..
					But that sort of thing is all over.
	133	The Sorcerer	II	Dr. DALY:	Oh, my voice is sad and low
					And with timid step I go -
	134	Pirates of Penzance	II	POLICEMEN:	Our feelings we with difficulty smother -
	135	Iolanthe	I	PHYLLIS:	Nay, tempt me not
					To rank I'll not be bound;
	136	Iolanthe	I	PHYLLIS:	For riches and rank I do not long -
	137	Iolanthe	II	STREPHON:	I don't think I ought to. Besides, all sorts of difficulties will arise.
	138	The Mikado	I	NANKI-POO:	So, in spite of all temptation,
					Such a theme I'll not discuss,
	139	The Mikado	I	POOH-BAH:	But no, I must set bounds to my insatiable ambition!
	140	Ruddigore	II	Sir DESPARD:	I've given up all my wild proceedings.
	141	Utopia Limited	I	Mr. GOLDBURY:	I should put it rather low;
					The good sense of doing so
					Will be evident at once to any debtor.
					When it's left to you to say
					What amount you need to pay,
					Why, the lower you can put it at, the better.
B. Passing	142	Pirates of Penzance	II	PIRATES:	In silence dread
					Our cautious way we feel.
	143	Patience	I	BUNTHORNE:	Finished! At last! Finished!
	144	Iolanthe	II	Lord MOUNTARARAT:	Did nothing in particular,
					And did it very well:
	145	Ruddigore	I	ROSE MAYBUD:	In truth I could pursue this painful theme much further, but behold, I have said enough.
	146	Utopia Limited	I	MELENE:	We are all very well as we are.
*VII - Competitive*
A. Preempted	147	Thespis	I	PREPOSTEROS	Shut up again! But no matter.
	148	Thespis	II	THESPIANS:	Great Jove, this interference
					Is more than we can stand;
	149	Patience	I	BUNTHORNE:	Life is made up of interruptions.
	150	The Gondoliers	I	Duke of PLAZA-TORO:	Insuperable difficulties meet me at every turn!
B. Penalty double	151	Trial by Jury	-	JURYMEN:	Monster, dread our damages!
	152	Trial by Jury	-	JURYMEN:	He shall treat us with awe
	153	HMS Pinafore	I	JOSEPHINE:	Oh sir, you forget the disparity in our ranks.
	154	Pirates of Penzance	II	FREDERIC:	Know ye not, oh rash ones,
					That I have doomed you to extermination?
	155	Pirates of Penzance	II	SERGEANT:	To gain a brief advantage you've contrived,
					But your proud triumph will not be long-lived.
	156	Iolanthe	I	FAIRY QUEEN:	It's highly necessary
					Your tongue to teach
					Respectful speech -
	157	Iolanthe	I	CELIA:	Our wrath, when gentlemen offend us,
					Is tremendous!
	158	Iolanthe	II	Lord MOUNTARARAT:	If one of us is to destroy the other, let it be me!
	159	Princess Ida	III	King GAMA:	Give them no quarter - they will give you none.
	160	Utopia Limited	II	WISE MEN:	If you think than when banded in unity,
					We may both be defied with impunity,
					You are sadly misled of a verity!
	161	The Grand Duke	II	BARONESS:	For whatever may be due I'll pay it double -
					There'll be terror indescribable and trouble!
C. Running from trouble	162	The Sorcerer	I	ALINE:	Seek safety in flight!
	163	The Sorcerer	I	ALINE:	Let us fly to a far-off land,
					Where peace and plenty dwell -
	164	HMS Pinafore	II	CHORUS:	Every step with caution feeling,
					We will softly steal away.
	165	Patience	II	Colonel CALVERLEY:	.the question is not whether we like it, but whether they do.
D. I've said enough!	166	Pirates of Penzance	I	FREDERIC:	When you attack a stronger party you invariably get thrashed.
	167	Pirates of Penzance	I	EDITH:	Play at other games -
					Leave them here together.
	168	Pirates of Penzance	II	PIRATES:	We seek a penalty fifty-fold.
	169	Iolanthe	I	PEERS:	Let's depart,
					Dignified and stately!
	170	Iolanthe	II	FAIRY QUEEN:	But I mortify this inclination; I wrestle with it, and it lies beneath my feet!
	171	Princess Ida	II	HILARION:	Gently, gently,
					Evidently
					We are safe so far,
	172	Princess Ida	II	GRADUATES:	Oh! yield at once, 'twere better so
					Than risk a strife!
*VIII - Toss-up*
A. In a quandary	173	Thespis	I	JUPITER	Well, but what are we to do? We feel that we ought to do something, but we don't know what.
	174	Thespis	II	MERCURY:	Well, you see, there's a good deal to be said on both sides of the question.
	175	Trial by Jury	-	JUDGE:	A nice dilemma we have here,
					That calls for all our wit
	176	Iolanthe	I	Lord CHANCELLOR:	A plague on this vagary,
					I'm in a nice quandary!
	177	Yeomen of the Guard	II	ELSIE:	Oh, mercy! What am I to say?
	178	Utopia Limited	I	LADY SOPHY:	When a doubt they come across,
					English ladies always toss.
B. Risky situation	179	Thespis	I	JUPITER	The offer is tempting. But suppose you fail?
	180	Pirates of Penzance	II	POLICEMEN:	We observe too great a stress,
					On the risks that on us press,
	181	Princess Ida	I	HILARION:	But ah, my hopes are balanced by my fears!
	182	Princess Ida	II	Princess IDA:	Your theme's ambitious; pray you, bear in mind
					Who highest soar fall farthest.
	183	The Mikado	I	KO-KO:	We know how delicate it is, don't we?
	184	Yeomen of the Guard	I	PHOEBE:	Alas! I waver to and fro!
					Dark danger hangs upon the deed!
	185	Utopia Limited	II	King PARAMOUNT:	Though lofty aims catastrophe entail,
					We'll gloriously succeed or nobly fail.
C. Need a simulation	186	Trial by Jury	-	COUNSEL:	And at this stage, it don't appear
					That we can settle it.
	187	Princess Ida	II	Lady BLANCHE:	Given these three hypotheses - to find
					The actual betting against each of them!
	188	Utopia Limited	I	PHANTIS:	I do not know - I am not sure.
*IX - Weird*
A. Unusual situation	189	Thespis	I	MERCURY:	Oh incident unprecedented!
					I hardly can believe it's true!
	190	Trial by Jury	-	JURYMEN:	We would be fairly acting,
					But this is most distracting!
	191	The Sorcerer	II	CHORUS:	What is this strange confusion
					That veils my aching eyes?
	192	HMS Pinafore	II	LITTLE BUTTERCUP:	Things are seldom what they seem,
	193	The Mikado	II	YUM-YUM:	Here's a how-de-do!
	194	Yeomen of the Guard	I	PHOEBE:	It is a pretty picture - but I scarcely know. It cometh so unexpectedly -
	195	The Gondoliers	II	QUINTET:	Here is a case unprecedented!
B. Puzzling bid	196	HMS Pinafore	II	Captain CORCORAN:	Though to catch your drift I'm striving,
					It is shady - it is shady;
	197	Pirates of Penzance	II	POLICEMEN:	We cannot understand it at all.
	198	Utopia Limited	I	TRIO:	What does he mean? What does he mean?
					Give us a kind of clue!
C. Impossible auction!	199	Patience	I	DRAGOONS:	Now is not this ridiculous - and is not this preposterous?
					A thorough-paced absurdity - explain it if you can.
	200	Patience	I	BUNTHORNE:	If this young man expresses himself in terms too deep for me,
					Why, what a very singularly deep young man this deep young man must be!
	201	Ruddigore	II	4TH GHOST:	Fallacy somewhere, I fancy!
	202	The Gondoliers	I	QUINTET:	Wherefore waste our elocution
					On impossible solution?
*X - Suits*
A. Hearts	203	Iolanthe	I	PEERS:	In each heart
					Proud are we innately -
	204	Iolanthe	I	PHYLLIS:	To you I give my heart so rich!
	205	Princess Ida	II	CYRIL:	What do I want with a heart, innately?
	206	Ruddigore	I	RICHARD:	Does your honour know what it is to have a heart?
	207	Ruddigore	I	Sir DESPARD:	I have not a heart of that description, but I have a Picture Gallery..
	208	Yeomen of the Guard	II	FAIRFAX:	What sayest thou? Thou wilt not let my heart be eaten up?
B. Spades	209	Iolanthe	II	Lord CHANCELLOR:	You get a good spadesman
C. Honours	210	Yeomen of the Guard	II	CHORUS:	Honours wait on such an one;
	211	The Gondoliers	II	DUET:	Two kings, of undue pride bereft,
	212	The Gondoliers	II	QUINTET:	Here are a king and queen ill-starred!
	213	The Gondoliers	II	CHORUS:	Is this indeed the king?
*XI - Miscellany*
A. Deceptive bid	214	Yeomen of the Guard	II	DUET:	Tell a tale of cock and bull,
					Of convincing detail full,
B. Grand slam decision	215	Utopia Limited	II	PRINCESS ZARA:	..some strange magic lies hidden in the number Seven,
C. Mixed blessing	216	The Gondoliers	II	QUARTET:	This statement we receive
					With sentiments conflicting;

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Updated 3 November 1998