SIR GUY THE CRUSADER
		by W. S. Gilbert

SIR GUY was a doughty crusader,
	A muscular knight,
	Ever ready to fight,
A very determined invader,
  And DICKEY DE LION'S delight.

LENORE was a Saracen maiden,
	Brunette, statuesque,
	The reverse of grotesque,
Her pa was a bagman from Aden,
  Her mother she played in burlesque.

A coryphee, pretty and loyal,
	In amber and red
	The ballet she led;
Her mother performed at the Royal,
  LENORE at the Saracen's Head.

Of face and of figure majestic,
	She dazzled the cits--
	Ecstaticised pits;--
Her troubles were only domestic,
  But drove her half out of her wits.

Her father incessantly lashed her,
	On water and bread
	She was grudgingly fed;
Whenever her father he thrashed her
  Her mother sat down on her head.

GUY saw her, and loved her, with reason,
	For beauty so bright
	Sent him mad with delight;
He purchased a stall for the season,
  And sat in it every night.

His views were exceedingly proper,
	He wanted to wed,
	So he called at her shed
And saw her progenitor whop her--
  Her mother sit down on her head.

"So pretty," said he, "and so trusting!
	You brute of a dad,
	You unprincipled cad,
Your conduct is really disgusting,
  Come, come, now admit it's too bad!

"You're a turbaned old Turk, and malignant--
	Your daughter LENORE
	I intensely adore,
And I cannot help feeling indignant,
  A fact that I hinted before;

"To see a fond father employing
	A deuce of a knout
	For to bang her about,
To a sensitive lover's annoying."
  Said the bagman, "Crusader, get out."

Says GUY, "Shall a warrior laden
	With a big spiky knob,
	Sit in peace on his cob
While a beautiful Saracen maiden
  Is whipped by a Saracen snob?

"To London I'll go from my charmer."
	Which he did, with his loot
	(Seven hats and a flute),
And was nabbed for his Sydenham armour
  At MR. BEN-SAMUEL'S suit.

SIR GUY he was lodged in the Compter,
	Her pa, in a rage,
	Died (don't know his age),
His daughter, she married the prompter,
  Grew bulky and quitted the stage.