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No. 6 - Song - Millicent and Chorus - "Arithmetic."

MIDI File

Millicent: When I used to go to school,
Some time ago,
No one thought I was a fool,
I got on so!
History, Geography,
I would learn quite easily,
But I used to look so glum
When I had to do a sum!
And frankly I must say
I'm just as bad today!
I'm really rotten at arithmetic,
I cannot take a sum and do it quick.
When I'm asked "What is your age, my dear?"
It's so strange, I quite forget the year!
If I should say, when rather tightly laced,
I'm only nineteen inches round the waist,
Don't think I want to play you a trick,
But really I'm rotten at arithmetic!
Chorus: She's really rotten at arithmetic,
She cannot take a sum and do it quick.
When she's asked "What is your age, my dear?"
It's so strange, she quite forgets the year!
If she should say, when rather tightly laced,
She's only nineteen inches round the waist,
Don't think she wants to play you a trick,
But really she's rotten at arithmetic!
   
Millicent: Bridge is quite the game I love,
But when I play
What's below and what's above
I cannot say.
When I'm adding up my score,
Somehow it's three hundred more!
People say it's rather bad:
But I don't know how to add!
They think I try to cheat;
The fact is, I repeat:
I'm really rotten at arithmetic,
I cannot ever get the total quick.
I was playing with some gentlemen,
They were sure I owed them three pound ten;
Their score was not at all the same as mine:
All I could make of it was five and nine!
One man remark'd,
"Well that's rather thick!
You really are rotten at arithmetic!"
Chorus: She's really rotten at arithmetic,
She cannot ever get the total quick.
She was playing with some gentlemen,
They were sure she owed them three pound ten;
Their score was not at all the same as mine:
All she could make of it was five and nine!
One man remark'd,
"Well that's rather thick!
You really are rotten at arithmetic!"
   
Millicent: Only just the other day
My husband said,
"Did you give your heart away
Before we wed?
Have you worshipped other men,
One or two, or nine or ten?
Tell me, darling, tell me true,
Were they many, were they few?"
I counted all I could,
It wasn't any good.
I'm really rotten at arithmetic,
I counted Percy, Algy, Tom and Dick,
Major Brown was one of them I know,
Then that doctor on the P. and O.
When I had reckoned up to ninety one,
My husband asked me if I'd nearly done,
He seemed to think
I counted too quick,
Although I'm so rotten at arithmetic!
Chorus: She's really rotten at arithmetic,
She counted Percy, Algy, Tom and Dick,
Major Brown was one of them I know,
Then that doctor on the P. and O.
When she had reckoned up to ninety one,
Her husband asked her if she'd nearly done,
He seemed to think
She counted too quick,
Although she's so rotten at arithmetic!



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