You are here: British Musical Theatre > Musicals > King of Cadonia
 
   
British Musical Theatre   King of Cadonia

No. 12 - Song - Duke and Guards - "Do not hesitate to shoot."

MIDI File

Duke: In these days of deadly danger
Any monarch has to fear
If he finds a doubtful stranger
Inconveniently near;
So I mean to be protected
By the marks-men of my guards,
Who can pot a man suspected,
Guards: Who can pot a man suspected!
Duke: At about four hundred yards!
Do not hesitate to shoot.
Guards: Do not hesitate to shoot!
Duke: If he's carrying a cocoanut
or other massive fruit!
For it may be full of dynamite,
or possibly may not,
You can see when he is shot,
Guards: We'll see when he is shot!
Duke: And the one who gets him first
Is made a sergeant on the spot!
Guards: So of course he should be shot,
Duke (spoken): Shot!
   
Duke: If I do the Franco-British
With a girl, and sup with her,
And you see me getting skittish
At about the third liqueur--
If forgetting all my troubles,
At a game of Bridge I am,
And my neighbour promptly doubles,
Guards: Yes, your neighbour promptly doubles,
Duke: And proceeds to score a slam!
Do not hesitate to shoot.
Guards: Do not hesitate to shoot!
Duke: If my partner starts revoking
when he ought to follow suit,
He may say he wasn't very sure
if hearts were trumps or what,
But I want to have him shot,
Guards: You want to have him shot!
Duke: When he makes the first hand spade
and all the aces I have got,
Guards: Then of course he should be shot,
Duke (spoken): Shot!
   
Duke: If a girl with an umbrella
That she holds extremely high
Makes me dance a tarantella
When she jabs me in the eye,
When I'm rushing for a ticket
And my train is overdue
There's a woman at the wicket,
Guards: There's a woman at the wicket!
Duke: Who is holding up the queue!
Do not hesitate to shoot.
Guards: Do not hesitate to shoot.
Duke: When she asks the way to Paris
by the Inner Circle route!
And a shilling's worth of coppers
she has spilt about the spot,
Then I think she should be shot,
Guards: We think she should be shot!
Duke: When she comes back to the window
for a farthing she forgot,
Guards: Then of course she should be shot,
Duke (spoken): Shot!
   
Duke: When a singer on a platform
Starts a song in Melisande,
You should perforate his fat form
With a volley close at hand!
If at operas by Gounod
I observe some people near
Humming all the tunes they do know,
Guards: Humming all the tunes they do know,
Duke: By a most imperfect ear!
Do not hesitate to shoot.
Guards: Do not hesitate to shoot.
Duke: At the opera, a musician
with a solo on the flute!
Don't allow another twiddle, dot
his crotchet on the spot,
Score his bass with treble shot,
Guards: His bass with treble shot!
Duke: Hit him through the intermezzo
with a dum-dum piping hot!
Guards: So of course he should be shot,
Duke (spoken): Shot!


British Musical Theatre | Musicals | King of Cadonia

   Page created 13 October 2016 Copyright Paul Howarth © 2016 All Rights Reserved