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No. 5 - Song - Eliza


Eliza: There was once a pretty maid
In the milk and butter trade,
With the unassuming christian name of Mary,
And she ran a little shop
in New Bond Street, near the top,
Which was simply known as Mary's model dairy.
There were roses in the window,
there were tiles upon the floor,
And ev'rything looked clean and cool and airy,
And that perhaps was why
so many passers by
Dropped in to have a glass of milk with Mary.
Oh, be wary of Mary,
She had china mugs that hung around the dairy,
But the local gossips tell
There were other mugs as well,
They were gilded mugs and they
all hung round Mary.
  She looked sweet, demure and shy,
With a drooping downcast eye,
And her ways with lady customers were modest,
But her manner altered when she catered for the men,
And her conversation then was of the oddest,
She debated with them freely all the gossip of the town,
She discuss'd the fav'rite's chances for the Lincoln,
And useful racing tips
dropped lightly from her lips
With racy little stories from the Pink 'Un.
Oh, be wary of Mary,
She was fresher than the eggs within the dairy
But the eggs I beg to state
Were of somewhat doubtful date,
They had seen a bit of life,
And so had Mary.
  She knew half the men in town,
From plain Robinson and Brown
To the peerage's most celebrated scions,
And she graced the "table d'hote"
of each restaurant of note,
From Prince's and the Carlton down to Lyon's.
Still at times she would forget
simple rules of etiquette,
And she'd often tip her plate to get the gravy.
Tho' she always said that she
came of ancient pedigree,
And her father was a colonel in the Navy.
Oh, be wary of Mary,
She'd a useful eye for bus'ness in the dairy,
She would tot up ev'ry ounce,
As was shown by her accounts,
They were made up ev'ry night
And so was Mary.

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