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No. 5 - Duet - Mrs. Blacker & Parker - The Kitchen Range.

MIDI File

Mrs. Blacker: It was leg-o'-mutton day when I first met you,
Last Guy Fawkes' day— I don't forget the date!
Parker: As you stood there then I never can forget you — 
You looked like Venus rising from the grate!
Mrs. Blacker: You walked down in the kitchen like a lion,
And around my neck your great strong arms you threw,
Parker: And though neither of us knew it,
You were sitting in the suet,
When my meerschaum pipe fell in the Irish stew!
Both: Dear old days in the kitchen,
Days that were doomed to change!
Parker: Ha'p'ny Nap we used to play,
Mrs. Blacker: While the soup all boiled away,
Both: As we sat by the kitchen range!
   
Mrs. Blacker: One evening you'd a bad cold in your head, dear,
So I made you have two mugs of punch or more—
Parker: I remember now, when I got into bed, dear,
Punch never made me laugh so much before!
Mrs. Blacker: And another time I made some pastry for you,
A lovely bit, all jammy squares, like draughts—
Parker: And I don't forget the fuss, dear,
When I dropped it off the 'bus, dear,
And the driver said it broke both of the shafts!
Both: Dear old days in the kitchen,
Days that were doomed to change!
Mrs. Blacker: How we smiled, and how we laughed,
Parker: How I scorched my fore and aft
Both: In front of the kitchen range!
   
Mrs. Blacker: D'you remember how you loved all kinds of salads?
So I made you one to take home in the train—
Parker: And you wrapped it up in one of Tosti's ballads,
And the beetroot went all over the refrain!
Mrs. Blacker: Oh, and how you used to love my tête de veau, dear,
And didn't you enjoy my spotted dog—
Parker: And that jugged hare, when you made it,
D'you remember you mislaid it,
And it found its way to Croydon in the fog!
Both: Dear old days in the kitchen,
Days that were doomed to change!
Parker: Oh, the tears we both let fall,
Mrs. Blacker: And the roast beef got them all
Both: As it cooked by the kitchen range!

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