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No. 9 - Duet - Cheyne and Ada - "Golf."

MIDI File

Cheyne: Golf is an excellent game in its way,
Ada: But ev'rything's all "in its way,"
Cheyne: Golf is a game that was not meant to play
Ada: A good deal too serious for "play,"
Cheyne: But if you want an excuse for a walk,
Ada: Golf's the excuse for a walk,
Cheyne: If to the lady you're burning to talk,
Ada: Golf's not the subject you talk.
Oh, a glorious game is golf,
Cheyne: You'll forgive me, I pray, if I cough!
Ada: If you've a daughter you want to "go off,"
Encourage the girl to play golf.
Cheyne: That's the curious thing about golf,
One always appears to "go off."
   
Cheyne: Golf's not a game that a lady should play,
Ada: No perfect lady can play.
Cheyne: A maiden can soon learn the language of flow'rs,
Ada: But the language of golf lasts for hours.
Cheyne: Though you've had several shots at the ball,
Ada: Nothing occurs to the ball.
Cheyne: Caddy will laugh as you break up your "tee"
Ada: "Caddies" were made to hold "tea."
Oh, a glorious game is golf,
Cheyne: You'll forgive me, I pray, if I cough!
Ada: If you've a friend that you want to "score off,"
Ask him to play you at golf.
Cheyne: If you try to defeat him at golf,
Your "score" will be probably "off."
   
Cheyne: Golf is an excellent game on the whole,
Ada: But nobody gets in the hole,
Cheyne: Golf is a game where you're "like as you lie,"
Ada: You can "lie and you like" if you try.
Cheyne: Golf is a game where you "get in a swing,"
Ada: Nobody gets in the swing,
Cheyne: Golf is a game where you end on the green,
Ada: And ends up by turning you green!
Oh, a glorious game is golf,
Cheyne: You'll excuse me, I pray, if I cough!
Ada: If you've a headache which never leaves off,
Just drive to the links and play golf.
Cheyne: But as soon as you start to play golf,
The head of your driver comes off.

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