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Dialogue Following No. 14


Enter Steward rubbing his eyes and carrying portmanteau.

Stew.:
Half past five in the morning and Mr. Hebblethwaite starts at six. It's little of Miss Rosa he'll see this morning. Why, what's this? (Sees deeds.) "Abstract of title of Columbus Hebblethwaite to Glen-Cockaleekie Castle." Why, what does it mean? And here are the original deeds sure enough. Mr. Columbus Hebblethwaite, the owner of Glen-Cockaleekie Castle! Why, Sir Ebenezer can't know of this sure-lie! He ordered me last night to have everything ready for Mr. Hebblethwaite's departure by the 6.30 train, as he wouldn't have him in the house five minutes longer than it was necessary. Here! (calling) Sir Ebenezer! Mistress Mac Motherly! Miss Rosa! Mr. Hebblethwaite! Here's news for you!

Enter Mrs. Mac Motherly, Rosa, and Mr. Hebblethwaite.

Mrs. Mac.:
Eh, ye noisy loon, what are ye making a' that noise about, is the house a'fire, or have ye found yer senses. Which is it?
Stew.:
My senses! I've found something more than my senses, look here! "Abstract of title of Columbus Hebblethwaite to Glen-Cockaleekie Castle." I found it on the table just this minute.
Mrs. Mac.:
Eh! then the legend's come true! The hundred years expire this very day; and the auld castle passes into the hands of its legitimate owner, who turns out to be nae ither than Miss Rosa's Mr. Columbus.

Enter Tare, who seizes the deeds.

Tare.:
But I protest against this, Sir. It's absurd — it's impossible! I'll dispute it, Sir!
Hebble.:
Stop a bit. Don't let us go to law about it. I'll make a bargain with you. If you'll consent to my marriage with Rosa, you shall stop here as long as you like. Come, what do you say? Shall we all live together?
Tare.:
Well, Sir, if — mind, if — the deeds turn out to be authentic, and there is no doubt whatever of your title to this castle. Why, in that case — I say, in that case — I have no objection to entertain your proposal. Rosa, on that condition, he is yours.

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