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No. 17: Song (Lutin) & Chorus

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Lutin.
  Suppose you take, with open mind,
Twelve handsome men — what do you find?
    Twelve people, twenty-five years old,
      Twelve shapes, in even series;
    Twelve faces, cast in classic mould —
      (A type that quickly wearies),
    Twelve heads — the same from crown to nape
      In tedious iteration;
    Twelve noses — all alike in shape,
      Without a variation;
    Two dozen eyes — all large and bright;
Two dozen lips — all modelled quite
Like Cupid's bow — and underneath
Somewhere about three hundred teeth,
      By average calculation.
  This is a principle you may disseminate:
Good-looking men are effete and effeminate.
As for variety, they haven't got any —
Morbidly mild in their mawky monotony!
Chorus.
  This is a principle we may disseminate:
Good-looking men are effete and effeminate.
As for variety, they haven't got any —
Morbidly mild,
Lutin & Chorus.
  Morbidly mild,
Morbidly mild in their mawky monotony!

Lutin.
  But take twelve plain men, and you find
Variety of every kind!
    You've eyes that swivel — eyes that squint,
      And dribbling eyes, and dozy;
    And mottled cheeks of every tint,
      And hair that's red and rosy;
    You've mouths that grin and mouths that gape;
      Large ears that don't offend us;
    Uneven teeth grotesque in shape,
      And noses, too — tremendous!
    You've noses flat and noses snub,
Gigantic noses, noses club;
You've noses long and noses short,
And some that snore and some that snort
      With energy stupendous!
  Why we're unpopular passes the wit o' me!
Each of his kind is a comic epitome,
Teeming with humours of dissimilarity —
Quite a museum of peculiarity!
Chorus.
  Why we're unpopular passes the wit o' me!
Each of his kind is a comic epitome,
Teeming with humours of dissimilarity —
Quite a museum,
Lution & Chorus.
  Quite a museum,
Quite a museum of peculiarity!

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Page modified 13 March 2009