|Gilbert > Plays > Haste
to the Wedding > Web Opera > Act I Sc. 1
Woodpecker. St! st! st! Suppose I apologize.
Maguire. Then it's on again.
Woodpecker. Then I apologize.
Maguire. (joyfully). It's on again! (To FOODLE, who is embracing MARIA.) Foodle, my boy, it's on again!
Foodle (releasing her). Oh, Maria! (MARIA reverts to WOODPECKER.)
Maria. Oh! (screams).
Maguire. What's the matter!
Maria. Oh, something's pricking me!
Woodpecker. A pin? Allow me (proceeds to remove it).
Maguire. (stopping him). How dare you, sir?
Maria. How dare you?
All. For shame!
Maguire. Foodle, remove the pin! (FOODLE crosses to MARIA and removes the pin, kisses
it, and pricks his lip accidentally.) They were brought up together (addressing
Music commences "Haste to the Wedding," the guests are dancing off. [ ]
Woodpecker. Stop! (music and guests stop short — aside). I must find some excuse to stop at the milliner's — what shall I say? I can't tell them I've got to stop and buy a hat for one lady on my way to be married to another.
Maguire. (who has been standing on one leg in the exact attitude in which he was stopped). Nearly finished your soliloquy, Woodpecker?
Woodpecker (aside). Ha, I know! (Aloud). Hullo! It's very awkward – I've lost the licence!
All. Lost the licence!
Maguire. It's off! Another instance of insulting neglect! It's off! Foodle shall have her!
Foodle (embracing her). Maria!
Woodpecker. Stop! Don't be absurd – it's easily rectified. We must call at Doctor's Commons
on the way to the church, and get another. You can remain below in the cabs
Maguire. It's on again! It's on again! (To FOODLE, who is embracing MARIA.) Foodle,
Maguire. Will you stop that? Foodle, take the bride – pair off and away we go!
Music. "Haste to the Wedding." All dance off, WOODPECKER last. [ ]
Woodpecker. (over music.) If ever I get married again, it shall be into a family without a Foodle!
Exit after the others.
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