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No. 19: Song (Toto) & Chorus
MIDI File

Toto.
  The King of the Pigs was a good piggee,
But he was as lean as lean could be,
    And he feared what his subjects all would say
In the Cattle Show week, on the op'ning day;
  He tried all sorts of fattening fare
Till he gave it up in blank despair,
    And at last determin'd one fine day
To make his mark in a diff'rent way!
A diff'rent way, a diff'rent way,
To make his mark in a diff'rent way!
Chorus.
    To make his mark in a diff'rent way,
A diff'rent, a diff'rent way!

Toto.
  Said he, with a sigh, "The world is right,
A very fat pig is a lovely sight,
    And the judges properly give the prize
To the pig that can’t see out of his eyes.
  But the judges are men of liberal views,
And it’s not unlikely that they might choose
    To forgive my want of adipose
If I came to the show in a Roman nose,
A Roman nose, a Roman nose,
If I came to the show in a Roman nose."
Chorus.
    If I came to the show in a Roman nose,
A Roman, a Roman nose.

Toto.
  This original notion pleased him much –
The King was a King, and behav'd as such;
    And he tried all night, and tried all day
To bend his nose in the Roman way.
  He tied it down with a piece of string,
And he hung great weights to his royal ring
    Till his natural snout – the story goes –
Was more or less like a Roman nose,
A Roman nose, a Roman nose,
Was more or less like a Roman nose.
Chorus.
    Was more or less like a Roman nose,
A Roman, a Roman nose.

Toto.
  It was high at the bridge, and the tip drooped down,
And it lent itself to a noble frown.
    He could sneer also if he felt inclined,
For the nostrils both were well defined.
  There was general joy when the news got wing,
For his subjects all adored their King,
    And ev'ry pig walked on tip toes
When he found his King had a Roman nose,
A Roman nose, a Roman nose,
When he found his King had a Roman nose.
Chorus.
    When he found his King had a Roman nose, h
His King had a Roman nose.

Toto.
  But his sad ambition prov'd his ban.
He was sold at once to a “peep-show” man.
    His foolish dreams of glory fled.
He was shown to the mob at a penny a head:
  "Walk up, walk up, here’s a pig-faced child,
A knock-kneed Giant, an Indian wild,
    A dwarf but two foot six in his hose,
A real live pig with a Roman nose,
A Roman nose, a Roman nose,
A real live pig with a Roman nose.
Chorus.
    A real live pig with a Roman nose,
a pig with a Roman nose.

MORAL. (All rise.)

Toto.
  Now let this tale impress on you,
For every word is strictly true
    And cannot be too widely known,
The golden rule, "Let well alone".
  When to astonish friends and foes,
You ill-advisedly propose
    To gild pure gold, or paint the rose,
Remember the pig with a Roman nose,
A Roman nose, a Roman nose,
Remember the pig with a Roman nose.
Chorus.
    Remember the pig with a Roman nose,
Toto & Chorus.
    A Roman, a Roman nose.

Exeunt TOTO and Chorus.

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