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The Gilbert and Sullivan Archive  
by
W. S. Gilbert

He cuts his Last Tooth —
joy of parents.
After a course of the ususal infantile maladies,

He goes to school.
His indulgent parents send him a hamper.
He falls in love with Ethel at a juvenile party.

After a two years' courtship he proposes. She says, "Not until he gets into jackets." He gets into jackets. He determines to grow younger as quickly as possible.

He grows younger Younger Younger Younger and Younger.

Ethel, in the meantime, has developed into this; and They are married. He is now young enough to think of choosing a profession.

He chooses the army. He grows younger still. Indignation of his Colonel.
Extract from R.O. :— "Lieutenant Oldboy will please to be much older by next parade."
Ha! an idea! False whiskers.

But it wont do! So he goes to a theatrical perruquier to be made up "old". Perruquier asks, "Benevolent or characteristic?" He says, "Benevolent." He is made up "Benevolent", but
with only partial success.

In the meantime, Ethel has grown Older.                  And Oldboy
             Younger,
Younger and younger. He finally retires from the service, full of honours and of years.
Older Older Older Older and older.    

Page modified 28 July, 2011