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No. 3: SONG (Ernest) with Chorus

"Were I a king in very truth"

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Ernest.  

Were I a king in very truth,
And had a son – a guileless youth –
In probable succession;
To teach him patience, teach him tact,
How promptly in a fix to act,
He should adopt, in point of fact,
A manager’s profession.
To that condition he should stoop
(Despite a too fond mother),
With eight or ten “stars” in his troupe,
All jealous of each other!
All jealous of each other!

Oh, the man who can rule a theatrical crew,
Each member a genius (and some of them two),
And manage to humour them, little and great,
Can govern this tuppenny State!
 

Charles Kenningham as Ernest
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Chorus.
Oh, the man who can rule a theatrical crew,
Each member a genius (and some of them two),
And manage to humour them, little and great,
Can govern State, govern this State!
This poor State!

Ernest.

Both A and B rehearsal slight –
They say they’ll be “all right at night”
(They’ve both to go to school yet);
C in each act must change her dress,
D will attempt to “square the press”;
E won’t play Romeo unless
His grandmother plays Juliet;
F claims all hoydens as her rights
(She’s played them thirty seasons);
And G must show herself in tights
For two convincing reasons –
Two very well-shaped reasons!

Oh, the man who can drive a theatrical team,
With wheelers and leaders in order supreme,
Can govern and rule, with a wave of his fin,
All Europe – with Ireland thrown in!
 

Chorus.
Oh, the man who can drive a theatrical team,
With wheelers and leaders in order supreme,
Can govern and rule, with a wave of his fin,
All Europe, all Europe – with Ireland thrown in!

(Exeunt all but Ernest.)

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