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No. 5: CHORUS & SONG (Ludwig)

"My goodness me! What shall we do?...
Ten minutes since I met a chap"

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(Enter all the Chorus with Ludwig, Notary, and Lisa – all greatly agitated.)

Chorus.
My goodness me! What shall we do? Why, what a dreadful situation!
(To Ludwig) It’s all your fault, you booby you – you lump of indiscrimination!
I’m sure I don’t know where to go – it’s put me into such a tetter –
It’s put me into such a tetter–
But this at all events I know – the sooner we are off, the better!
Yes, the sooner we are off, the better!
Yes, the sooner we are off, the better!

Ernest.
What means this agitato? What d’ye seek?
As your Grand Duke elect I bid you speak!

Ludwig.

Ten minutes since I met a chap
Who bowed an easy salutation –
Thinks I, “This gentleman, mayhap,
Belongs to our Association.”
But, on the whole,
Uncertain yet,
A sausage-roll
I took and eat –
That chap replied (I don’t embellish)
By eating three with obvious relish.


Chorus.

Why, gracious powers,
No chum of ours
Could eat three sausage-rolls with relish!
No chum of ours
Could eat, could eat three sausage-rolls with relish!


Ludwig,

Then reassured, I let him know
Our plot – each incident explaining;
That stranger chuckled much, as though
He thought me highly entertaining.
I told him all,
Both bad and good;
I bade him call –
He said he would:
I added much – the more I muckled,
The more that chuckling chummy chuckled!


Chorus. (angrily)

A bat could see
He couldn’t be
A chum of ours if he chuckled!
He couldn’t, couldn't be
A chum of ours if he chuckled!


Ludwig.

Well, as I bowed to his applause,
Down dropped he with hysteric bellow –
And that seemed right enough, because
I am a devilish funny fellow.
Then suddenly,
As still he squealed,
It flashed on me
That I’d revealed
Our plot, with all details effective,
To Grand Duke Rudolph’s own detective!


Chorus.

What folly fell,
To go and tell,
What folly fell,
To go and tell
Our plot to anyone’s detective!
What folly fell,
To go and tell
Our plot to anyone’s detective!

(Attacking Ludwig.)

You booby dense – you oaf immense,
With no pretence to common sense!
A stupid muff who’s made of stuff
Not worth a pinch of snuff!

Pack up at once and off we go, unless we’re anxious to exhibit
Our fairy forms all in a row, strung up upon the Castle gibbet!


Women. Men.
Pack up at once,  
  Pack up at once,
Off we go!  
  Off we go!
Pack up at once,  
  Pack up at once,
Off we go!  
  Off we go!
Pack up at once and off we go! Off we go!

(Exeunt Chorus. Manent Ludwig, Lisa, Ernest, Julia, and Notary.)

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