The Mikado


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Dialogue following No. 12

Darrell Fancourt as The Mikado & Sydney Granville as Pish-Tush c. 1921
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Flourish. Enter the Mikado, attended by Pish-Tush and Court.

Mikado. Now then, we've had a capital lunch, and we're quite ready. Have all the painful preparations been made?

Pish-Tush. Your Majesty, all is prepared.

Mikado. Then produce the unfortunate gentleman and his two well-meaning but misguided accomplices.

Enter Ko-Ko, Katisha, Pooh-Bah, and Pitti-Sing. They throw themselves at the Mikado's feet

Katisha asks for mercy even for Pooh-Bah
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Katisha. Mercy! Mercy for Ko-Ko! Mercy for Pitti-Sing! Mercy even for Pooh-Bah!

Mikado. I beg your pardon, I don't think I quite caught that remark.

Pooh-Bah. Mercy even for Pooh-Bah.

Katisha. Mercy! My husband that was to have been is dead, and I have just married this miserable object.

Mikado. Oh! You've not been long about it!

Ko-Ko. We were married before the Registrar.

Pooh-Bah. I am the Registrar.

Mikado. I see. But my difficulty is that, as you have slain the Heir Apparent —

Enter Nanki-Poo and Yum-Yum. They kneel.

Nanki-Poo. The Heir Apparent is not slain.

Mikado. Bless my heart, my son!

Yum-Yum. And your daughter-in-law elected!

Katisha. (seizing Ko-Ko) Traitor, you have deceived me!

Mikado. Yes, you are entitled to a little explanation, but I think he will give it better whole than in pieces.

The Mikado hears Ko-Ko's explanation, 1921
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Ko-Ko. Your Majesty, it's like this: It is true that I stated that I had killed Nanki-Poo —

Mikado. Yes, with most affecting particulars.

Pooh-Bah. Merely corroborative detail intended to give artistic verisimilitude to a bald and —

Ko-Ko. Will you refrain from putting in your oar? (to Mikado) It's like this: When your Majesty says, "Let a thing be done," it's as good as done — practically, it is done — because your Majesty's will is law. Your Majesty says, "Kill a gentleman," and a gentleman is told off to be killed. Consequently, that gentleman is as good as dead — practically, he is dead — and if he is dead, why not say so?

Mikado. I see. Nothing could possibly be more satisfactory!

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