Princess Ida


   

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No. 12: TRIO (Hilarion, Cyril & Florian)
"Gently, gently,"

Enter Hilarion, Cyril & Florian, climbing over wall, and creeping cautiously among the trees and rocks at the back of the stage.

Cyril (Leo Darnton), Florian (Sydney Granville) and Hilarion (Derek Oldham) c. 1920
Hilarion, Cyril & Florian.
Gently, gently,
Evidently
We are safe so far,
After scaling
Fence and paling,
Here, at last, we are!

Florian.
In this college,
Useful knowledge
Ev'rywhere one finds,
And already,
Growing steady,
We've enlarged our minds.

Cyril.
We've learnt that prickly cactus
Has the power to attract us
When we fall.
Hilarion & Florian.
When we fall.
Hilarion.
That nothing man unsettles
Like a bed of stinging nettles,
Short or tall.
Cyril & Florian.
Short or tall.
Florian.
That bulldogs feed on throttles —
That we don't like broken bottles
On a wall.
Cyril & Hilarion.
On a wall.
Hilarion.
That spring-guns breathe defiance!
And that burglary's a science
After all!
Cyril & Hilarion.
After all!

Florian.
A Woman's college! maddest folly going!
What can girls learn within its walls worth knowing?
I'll lay a crown (the Princess shall decide it)
I'll teach them twice as much in half-an-hour outside it.

Hilarion.
Hush, scoffer; ere you sound your puny thunder,
List to their aims, and bow your head in wonder!

Hilarion. Cyril & Florian.
They intend to send a wire
To the moon —
 
  To the moon;
And they'll set the Thames on fire
Very soon —
 
  Very soon;
Then they'll learn to make silk purses
With their rigs —
 
  With their rigs;
From the ears of Lady Circe's
Piggy-wigs —
 
  Piggy-wigs;
And weasels at their slumbers
They trepan —
 
  They trepan;
To get sunbeams from cucumbers
They've a plan —
 
  They've a plan;
They've a firmly rooted notion
They can cross the Polar Ocean,
And they'll find Perpetual Motion,
If they can —
 
If they can. If they can.
James Hay, Derek Oldham & Gordon Cleather, 1919

All.
These are the phenomena
That ev'ry pretty domina
Is hoping at her Universitee we shall see.
These are the phenomena
That ev'ry pretty domina
Is hoping at her Universitee we shall see.

Cyril (John Dean), Hilarion (Charles Goulding) & Florian (Leslie Rands), 1932
Cyril. Hilarion & Florian.
As for fashion, they forswear it,
So they say —
 
  So they say;
And the circle they will square it
Some fine day —
 
  Some fine day;
Then the little pigs they're teaching
For to fly —
 
  For to fly;
And they'll practise what they're preaching,
By and by —
 
  By and by;
Each newly joined aspirant
To the clan —
 
  To the clan;
Must repudiate the tyrant
Known as Man —
 
  Known as Man;
They mock at him and flout him,
For they do not care about him
And they're "going to do without him"
If they can
 
If they can. If they can.
All.

These are the phenomena
That ev'ry pretty domina
Is hoping at her Universitee we shall see.
These are the phenomena
That ev'ry pretty domina
Is hoping at her Universitee we shall see!

In this college,
Useful knowledge
Ev'rywhere one finds,
And already,
Growing steady,
We've enlarged our minds,
We've enlarged our minds.


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