Utopia Limited

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No. 2: CHORUS & DUET (Scaphio & Phantis)
"O make way for the Wise Men"

Midi Symbol MIDI File [20KB, 3' 09"]

March. Enter Guard, escorting Scaphio & Phantis.

Chorus.
O make way for the Wise Men!
They are prize-men —
Double-first in the world's university!
For though lovely this island
(Which is my land),
She has no one to match them in her city.
They're the pride of Utopia —
Cornucopia
Is each in his mental fertility.
O they never make blunder,
And no wonder,
For they're triumphs of infallibility.
So make way for the Wise Men!
They are prize-men —
Double-first in the world's university!
For though lovely this island
(Which is my land),
She has no one to match them in her city.

Scaphio. Phantis.
In every mental lore  
  -tal lore
(The statement smacks of vanity)  
  We claim to rank before
before  
  The wisest of humanity.
As gifts of head and heart  
  and heart
We're wasted on "utility,"  
  We're "cast" to play a part
a part  
  Of great responsibility.
Our duty is to spy  
  to spy
Upon our King's illicities,  
  And keep a watchful eye
-ful eye  
  On all his eccentricities.
 
John le Hay as Phantis & W. H. Denny as Scaphio, 1893
Click on picture to enlarge

Both.
If ever a trick he tries, he tries
That savours of rascality,
At our decree he dies, he dies
Without the least formality.

Scaphio. Phantis.
We fear no rude rebuff,  
  rebuff,
Or newspaper publicity;  
  Our word is quite enough,
enough,  
  The rest is electricity.
A pound of dynamite  
  -amite
Explodes in his auriculars;  
  It's not a pleasant sight —
-sant sight —  
  We'll spare you the particulars.
Its force all men confess,  
  confess,
The King needs no admonishing —  
  We may say its success
success  
  Is something quite astonishing.

Both.
Our despot it imbues, imbues
With virtues quite delectable,
He minds his P's and Q's, and Q's, —
And keeps himself respectable.

Scaphio. Of a tyrant polite
Phantis. He's a paragon quite.
Scaphio. He's as modest and mild
Phantis. In his ways as a child;
Scaphio. And no one e'er met
With an autocrat yet,
Phantis. So delightfully bland
To the least in the land!
Both. So delightfully bland
To the least in the land,
So bland, so bland!

Chorus.
O make way for the Wise Men!
They are prize-men —
Double-first in the world's university!
For though lovely this island
(Which is my land),
She has no one to match them in her city.

Exeunt all but Scaphio & Phantis.

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