No. 11: FINALE, ACT I
"Although your Royal summons to appear"
Enter every one, except the Flowers of Progress.
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| Zara. |
| Attend to me, Utopian populace, Ye South Pacific island viviparians; All, in the abstract, types of courtly grace, Yet, when compared with Britain's glorious race, But little better than half clothed Barbarians! |
| Chorus. |
| Yes! Contrasted when With Englishmen, Are little better than half-clothed barbarians! |
| Scaphio, Phantis & Tarara. (aside) |
| What does she mean? What does she mean? |
Enter all the Flowers of Progress, led by Fitzbattleaxe.
| Zara. (Presenting Captain Fitzbattleaxe) |
| When Britain sounds the trump of war (And Europe trembles), The army of the conqueror In serried ranks assembles; 'Tis then this warrior's eyes and sabre gleam For our protection-- He represents a military scheme In all its proud perfection! |
| Chorus. |
| Yes, yes, yes, He represents a military scheme In all its proud perfection. Ulahlica! Ulahlica! Ulahlica! |
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| Zara. (Presenting Mr. Goldbury) |
| A Company Promoter this with special education, Which teaches what Contango means and also Backwardation — To speculators he supplies a grand financial leaven, Time was when two were company — but now it must be seven. |
| Mr. Goldbury. |
| Yes, yes, yes, Time was when two were company — but now it must be seven. Stupendous loans to foreign thrones I've largely advocated; In ginger-pops and peppermint-drops I've freely speculated; Then mines of gold, of wealth untold, Successfully I've floated And sudden falls in apple-stalls Occasionally quoted. And soon or late I always call For Stock Exchange quotation — No scheme's too great and none too small For Companification! |
| Chorus. |
| Yes, yes, yes, No scheme's too great and none too small For Companification! |
| Zara. (Presenting Capt. Sir Edward Corcoran, R.N.) |
| And lastly I present Great Britain's proudest boast, Who from the blows Of foreign foes Protects her sea-girt coast — And if you ask him in respectful tone, He'll show you how you may protect your own! |
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| Chorus. |
| All hail, all hail, ye types of England's power — Ye heaven-enlightened band! We bless the day and bless the hour That brought you to our land. |
| King Paramount. | Zara, Lady Sophy & Captain Fitzbattleaxe. |
Chorus. |
| Ye wanderers from a mighty State, | ||
| Ye wanderers from a mighty State, | ||
| Oh, teach us how to legislate — | ||
| Oh, teach us how to legislate — | ||
| Your lightest word will carry weight, | Your lightest word will carry weight, | |
| In our attentive ears. | In our attentive ears. | |
| Oh, teach the natives of this land | ||
| Oh, teach the natives of this land | Oh, teach the natives of this land | |
| (Who are not quick to understand) | ||
| (Who are not quick to understand) | (Who are not quick to understand) | |
| Ye wanderers from a mighty State, | Ye wanderers from a mighty State, | Ye wanderers from a mighty State, |
| Oh, teach us how to legislate — | Oh, teach us how to legislate — | |
| Your lightest word will carry weight, | Your lightest word will carry weight, | Your lightest word will carry weight, |
| In our attentive ears. | In our attentive ears. |
| Captain Fitzbattleaxe. | Increase your army! |
| Lord Dramaleigh. | Purify your court! |
| Captain Corcoran. | Get up your steam and cut your canvas short! |
| Sir Bailey Barre. | To speak on both sides teach your sluggish brains! |
| Mr. Blushington. | Widen your thoroughfares, and flush your drains! |
| Mr. Goldbury. | Utopia's much too big for one small head-- I'll float it as a Company Limited! |
| King. |
| A Company Limited? What may that be? The term, I rather think, is new to me. |
| Chorus. |
| A Company Limited? What may that be? |
| Scaphio, Phantis & Tarara. (aside) |
| What does he mean? What does he mean? Give us a kind of clue! What does he mean? What does he mean? What is he going to do? |
| Mr. Goldbury. |
| Some seven men form an Association (If possible, all Peers and Baronets), The start off with a public declaration To what extent they mean to pay their debts. That's called their Capital; if they are wary They will not quote it at a sum immense. The figure's immaterial — it may vary From eighteen million down to eighteen pence. I should put it rather low; The good sense of doing so Will be evident at once to any debtor. When it's left to you to say What amount you mean to pay, Why, the lower you can put it at, the better. |
| Chorus. |
| When it's left to you to say What amount you mean to pay, Why, the lower you can put it at, the better. |
| Mr. Goldbury. |
| They then proceed to trade with all who'll trust 'em Quite irrespective of their capital (It's shady, but it's sanctified by custom); Bank, Railway, Loan, or Panama Canal. You can't embark on trading too tremendous — It's strictly fair, and based on common sense — If you succeed, your profits are stupendous — And if you fail, pop goes your eighteen pence. Make the money-spinner spin! For you only stand to win, And you'll never with dishonesty be twitted. For nobody can know, To a million or so, To what extent your capital's committed! |
| Chorus. |
| For nobody can know, To a million or so, To what extent your capital's committed! |
| Mr. Goldbury. |
| If you come to grief, and creditors are craving (For nothing that is planned by mortal head Is certain in this Vale of Sorrow--saving That one's Liability is Limited), Do you suppose that signifies perdition? If so, you're but a monetary dunce — You merely file a Winding-Up Petition, And start another Company at once! Though a Rothschild you may be In your own capacity, As a Company you've come to utter sorrow — But the Liquidators say, "Never mind — you needn't pay," So you start another company to-morrow! |
| Chorus. |
| But the Liquidators say, "Never mind — you needn't pay," So you start another company to-morrow! |
| King Paramount. |
| Well, at first sight it strikes us as dishonest, But if its's good enough for virtuous England — The first commercial country in the world — It's good enough for us. |
| Scaphio, Phantis & Tarara. (aside to the King) |
| You'd best take care — Please recollect we have not been consulted. |
| King Paramount. (not heeding them) |
| And do I understand you that Great Britain Upon this Joint Stock principle is governed? |
| Mr. Goldbury. |
| We haven't come to that, exactly — but We're tending rapidly in that direction. The date's not distant. |
| King Paramount. (enthusiastically) |
| We will be before you! We'll go down in posterity renowned As the First Sovereign in Christendom Who registered his Crown and Country under The Joint Stock Company's Act of Sixty-Two. |
| All. |
| Ulahlica! |
| King Paramount. |
| Henceforward, of a verity, With Fame ourselves we link — We'll go down to Posterity Of sovereigns all the pink! |
| Scaphio, Phantis & Tarara. (aside to King) |
| If you've the mad temerity Our wishes thus to blink, You'll go down to Posterity, Much earlier than you think! |
| Tarara. (correcting them) |
| He'll go up to Posterity, If I inflict the blow! |
| Scaphio & Phantis. (angrily) |
| He'll go down to Posterity — We think we ought to know! |
| Tarara. (explaining) |
| He'll go up to Posterity, Blown up with dynamite! |
| Scaphio & Phantis. (apologetically) |
| He'll go up to Posterity, Of course he will, you're right! You're right! Up, up, up, up! |
| Princess Zara. | Captain Fitzbattleaxe. | Scaphio, Phantis & Tarara. |
| Who love with all sincerity; Their lives may safely link. |
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| And as for our posterity |
If he has the temerity Our wishes thus to blink |
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| We don't care what they think! | He'll go up to Posterity Much earlier than they think! |
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| Who love, | Who love, | He'll go up to Posterity Much earlier than they think! |
| Who love, | Who love, | He'll go up to Posterity Much earlier than they think! |
| love, | love, | He'll go up, he'll go up, he'll go up, He'll go up, he'll go up, he'll go up, |
| Princesses Zara, Nekaya & Kalyba & Captain Fitzbattleaxe | Scaphio, Phantis & Tarara. | Others. |
| Who love with all sincerity; | If he has the temerity Our wishes thus to blink He'll go up to Posterity |
Henceforward of a verity, With fame ourselves we link — And go down to Posterity, |
| Their lives may safely link. | Much earlier than they think! | Of sovereigns all the pink! |
| And as for our posterity | If he has the temerity Our wishes thus to blink He'll go up to Posterity |
Henceforward of a verity, With fame ourselves we link — And go down to Posterity, |
| We don't care what they think! | Much earlier than they think! | Of sovereigns all the pink! |
| He'll go up to Posterity Much earlier than they think! Much earlier than they think! Much earlier than they think! |
He'll go down to Posterity Of sovereigns all the pink! Of sovereigns all the pink! Of sovereigns all the pink! |
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| Who love, | He'll go up to Posterity, He'll go up to Posterity |
Of sovereigns all |
| who love. | Much earlier than they think! | the pink! |
| All. |
| Let's seal this mercantile pact — The step we ne'er shall rue — It gives whatever we lacked — The statement's strictly true. All hail, astonishing Fact! All hail, Invention new — The Joint Stock Company's Act of Parliament Sixty-Two! Let's seal this mercantile pact — The step we ne'er shall rue — It gives whatever we lacked — The statement's strictly true. All hail, astonishing Fact! All hail, Invention new — The Joint Stock Company's Act of Parliament Sixty-Two! The Act of Sixty-Two! The Act of Sixty-Two! |
END OF ACT I
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Page Created 4 December, 2005