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No. 12: CHORUS
No. 13: SONG (Sir Despard & Chorus)

"Welcome, gentry...
Oh why am I moody and sad?"

Midi Symbol MIDI File [29 KB, 4' 38 "]

Enter Chorus of Bucks and Blades, heralded by Chorus of Bridesmaids.

Bridesmaids.
Welcome, gentry,
For your entry
Sets our tender hearts a-beating.
Men of station,
Admiration
Prompts this unaffected greeting.
Hearty greeting,
Hearty greeting offer we!

Bucks and Blades.
When thoroughly tired
Of being admired,
By ladies of gentle degree – degree,
With flattery sated,
High-flown and inflated,
Away from the city we flee – we flee!
From charms intramural
To prettiness rural
The sudden transition
Is simply Elysian,
So come, Amaryllis,
Come, Chloe and Phyllis,
Your slaves, for the moment, are we!
Your slaves, for the moment, are we!
Bucks and Blades (1921)

Bucks and Blades (1926)
Bridesmaids.
The sons of the tillage
Who dwell in this village
Are people of lowly degree – degree.
Though honest and active,
They're most unattractive,
And awkward as awkward can be – can be.
They're clumsy clodhoppers
With axes and choppers,
And shepherds and ploughmen
And drovers and cowmen,
Hedgers and reapers
And carters and keepers,
But never a lover for me!
But never a lover for me!

ENSEMBLE.

Bridesmaids. Bucks and Blades.
  Then come, Amaryllis,
Hearty greeting Come, Chloe and Phyllis,
offer we, offer we!  
So welcome gentry, When thoroughly tired of being admired
For your entry By ladies of gentle degree — degree,
Sets our tender With flattery sated, high-flown and inflated,
hearts a-beating. Away from the city we flee — we flee!
Men of station, From charms intramural to prettiness rural
Admiration The sudden transition is simply Elysian,
Prompts this unaf- So come, Amaryllis, come Chloe and Phyllis,
fected greeting, Your slaves for the moment are we,
Hearty greeting, hearty greeting offer we! Your slaves for the moment, your slaves are we!
Welcome! Welcome, Welcome! Welcome,
Welcome, welcome, welcome we! Welcome, welcome, welcome we!

Enter Sir Despard Murgatroyd.

Sir Despard (Leo Sheffield) (1926)
Sir Despard.
Oh, why am I moody and sad?
Chorus.
Can't guess!
Sir Despard.
And why am I guiltily mad?
Chorus.
Confess!
Sir Despard.
Because I am thoroughly bad!
Chorus.
Oh yes –
Sir Despard.
You'll see it at once in my face.

Sir Despard.
Oh, why am I husky and hoarse?
Chorus.
Ah, why?
Sir Despard.
It's the workings of conscience, of course.
Chorus.
Fie, fie!
Sir Despard.
And huskiness stands for remorse,
Chorus.
Oh my!
Sir Despard.
At least it does so in my case!

Sir Despard.
When in crime one is fully employed –
Chorus.
Like you –
Sir Despard.
Your expression gets warped and destroyed:
Chorus.
It do.
Sir Despard.
It's a penalty none can avoid;
Chorus.
How true!
Sir Despard.
I once was a nice-looking youth;
But like stone from a strong catapult –
Chorus. (explaining to each other)
A trice –
Sir Despard.
I rushed at my terrible cult –
Chorus. (explaining to each other)
That's vice –
Sir Despard.
Observe the unpleasant result!
Chorus.
Not nice.
Sir Despard.
Indeed I am telling the truth!

Sir Despard (Sydney Granville) (1939)
Sir Despard.
Oh, innocent, happy though poor!
Chorus.
That's we –
Sir Despard.
If I had been virtuous, I'm sure –
Chorus.
Like me –
Sir Despard.
I should be as nice-looking as you're!
Chorus.
May be
Sir Despard.
You are very nice-looking indeed!

Sir Despard.
Oh, innocents, listen in time –
Chorus.
We doe,
Sir Despard.
Avoid an existence of crime –
Chorus.
Just so –
Sir Despard.
Or you'll be as ugly as I'm –
Chorus. (loudly)
No! No!
Sir Despard.
And now, if you please, we'll proceed.

All the girls express their horror of Sir Despard. As he approaches them they fly from him, terror-stricken, leaving him alone on the stage.

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