No. 5 - Song - Thespis - "I once knew a chap..."

Words by W. S. Gilbert
Music by Colin Johnson
Copyright © 2001 by Colin Johnson
All Rights Reserved

By Colin Johnson
Generated by NoteWorthy Composer

[Thespis:] I once knew a chap who discharged a function
On the North South East West Diddlesex Junction.
He was conspicuous exceeding,
For his affable ways, and his easy breeding.
Although a chairman of directors,
He was hand in glove with the ticket inspectors.
He tipped the guards with brand new fivers,
And sang little songs to the engine drivers.
'Twas told to me with great compunction,
By one who had discharged with unction
A chairman of directors function,
[Chorus:] A director's function!
[All:] On the North South East West Diddlesex Junction.
[Thespis:] Fol diddle, lol diddle, lol lol lay.
Fol diddle, diddle, lol lol lay.
[Chorus:] Fol diddle, lol diddle, lol lol lay.
Fol diddle, diddle, lol lol lay.
Diddlesex, Diddlesex, Diddlesex, Sh!

[Thespis:] Each Christmas day he gave each stoker
A silver shovel and a golden poker.
He'd button-hole flowers for the ticket sorters
And rich Bath-buns for the outside porters.
He'd mount the clerks on his first-class hunters,
And he built little villas for the roadside shunters,
And if any were fond of pigeon shooting,
He'd ask them down to his place at Tooting.
'Twas told to me with great compunction,
By one who had discharged with unction
A chairman of directors function,
[Chorus:] A director's function!
[All:] On the North South East West Diddlesex Junction.
[Thespis:] Fol diddle, lol diddle, lol lol lay.
Fol diddle, diddle, lol lol lay.
[Chorus:] Fol diddle, lol diddle, lol lol lay.
Fol diddle, diddle, lol lol lay.
Diddlesex, Diddlesex, Diddlesex, Sh!

[Thespis:] In course of time there spread a rumour
That he did all this from a sense of humour.
So instead of signalling and stoking,
They gave themselves up to a course of joking.
Whenever they knew that he was riding,
They shunted his train on a lonely siding,
Or stopped all night in the middle of a tunnel,
On the plea that the boiler was a-coming through the funnel.
'Twas told to me with great compunction,
By one who had discharged with unction
A chairman of directors function,
[Chorus:] A director's function!
[All:] On the North South East West Diddlesex Junction.
[Thespis:] Fol diddle, lol diddle, lol lol lay.
Fol diddle, diddle, lol lol lay.
[Chorus:] Fol diddle, lol diddle, lol lol lay.
Fol diddle, diddle, lol lol lay.
Diddlesex, Diddlesex, Diddlesex, Sh!

[Thespis:] If he wished to go to Perth or Stirling,
His train through several counties whirling,
Would set him down in a fit of larking,
At four a. m. in the wilds of Barking.
This pleased his whim and seemed to strike it,
But the gen'ral public did not like it.
The receipts fell, after a few repeatings,
And he got it hot at the annual meetings.
'Twas told to me with great compunction,
By one who had discharged with unction
A chairman of directors function,
[Chorus:] A director's function!
[All:] On the North South East West Diddlesex Junction.
[Thespis:] Fol diddle, lol diddle, lol lol lay.
Fol diddle, diddle, lol lol lay.
[Chorus:] Fol diddle, lol diddle, lol lol lay.
Fol diddle, diddle, lol lol lay.
Diddlesex, Diddlesex, Diddlesex, Sh!

[Thespis:] He followed out his whim with vigour,
The shares went down to a nominal figure.
These are the sad results proceeding
From his affable ways and his easy breeding.
The line, with its rails and guards and peelers,
Was sold for a song to marine store dealers
The shareholders all are in the work'us,
And he sells pipelights in the Regent Circus.
'Twas told to me with great compunction,
By one who had discharged with unction
A chairman of directors function,
[Chorus:] A director's function!
[Thespis:] On the North South East West Diddlesex,
[Chorus:] On the North South East West Diddlesex,
[Thespis:] On the North South East West
[All:] Diddlesex Junction.
[Thespis:] Fol diddle, lol diddle, lol lol lay.
Fol diddle, diddle, lol lol lay.
[Chorus:] Fol diddle, lol diddle, lol lol lay.
Fol diddle, diddle, lol lol lay.

No. 5 - I once knew a chap
Soft karaoke
Words
Thespis
Sopranos
Contraltos
Tenors
Basses
Right Hand
Left Hand
Karaoke Track