No. 10 - Song - Mercury - "Olympus is now in a terrible muddle"

Words by W. S. Gilbert
Music by Colin Johnson
Copyright © 2001 by Colin Johnson
All Rights Reserved

By Colin Johnson
Generated by NoteWorthy Composer

[Mercury:] Olympus is now in a terrible muddle,
The deputy deities all are at fault
They splutter and splash like a pig in a puddle
And dickens a one of 'em's earning his salt.
For Thespis as Jove is a terrible blunder,
Too nervous and timid- too easy and weak-
Whenever he's called on to lighten or thunder,
The thought of it keeps him awake for a week.

Then mighty Mars hasn't the pluck of a parrot.
When left in the dark he will quiver and quail;
And Vulcan has arms that would snap like a carrot,
Before he could drive in a tenpenny nail.
Then Venus's freckles are very repelling,
And Venus should not have a squint in her eyes;
The learned Minerva is weak in her spelling,
And scatters her h's all over the skies.

Then Pluto in kind-hearted tenderness erring,
Can't make up his mind to let anyone die-
The Times has a paragraph ever recurring,
"Remarkable instance of longevity."
On some it has some as a serious onus,
To others it's quite an advantage- in short,
While ev'ry life office declares a big bonus,
The poor undertakers are all in the court!

Then Cupid, the rascal, forgetting his trade is
To make men and women impartially smart,
Will only shoot arrows at pretty young ladies,
And never takes aim at a bachelor's heart.
The results of this freak- or whatever you term it-
Should cover the wicked young scamp with disgrace,
While ev'ry young man is as shy as a hermit,
Young ladies are popping all over the place.

This wouldn't much matter- for bashful and shy men,
When skillfully handled are certain to fall,
But, alas, that determined young bachelor Hymen
Refuses to wed anybody at all.
He swears that Love's flame is the vilest of arsons,
And looks upon marriage as quite a mistake;
Now what in the world's to become of the parsons,
And what of the artist who sugars the cake?

In short, you will see from the facts that I'm showing,
The state of the case is exceedingly sad;
If Thespis's people go on as they're going,
Olympus will certainly go to the bad.
From Jupiter downward there isn't a dab in it,
All of 'em quibble and shuffle and shirk,
A premier in Downing Street forming a cabinet,
Couldn't find people less fit for their work.

Olym
Soft karaoke
Words
Mercury
Right Hand
Left Hand