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British Musical Theatre   King of Cadonia

No. 19 - Song - Militza - "Situations."

MIDI File

Militza: Lots of mistresses I've had,
Some were good and some were bad,
And others knew no better, I suppose;
But I've always had my way
And my wages to the day —
And I've always had to earn 'em, goodness knows!
Now when service first I took
I was ask'd to help the cook —
Which I stoop'd to, being only a beginner —
And the mistress said one day,"
Where's that bit of mutton, eh,
Which I order'd to be 'eated up for dinner?"
Well, I hope I know my place,
But I told her to her face,
You should give the Aitch more careful haspiration!
"Eat it up!" she said to me,
So I ate it up, you see —
So I had to get another Situation.
   
  Then another place I got,
Oh, she was the oddest lot!
And I think she was a Socialist, because
She would have me in to tea,
Or to lunch or dinner, see?
Just as if I was her equal — which I was!
But I liked her all the same,
And I didn't see her game
Till one night she said "Let's have a game of poker;"
Well, I lost a lot that night,
And I thought it wasn't right
When I noticed that she always held the Joker!
Well, I hope I know my place,
But I wouldn't have the face
To keep an extra pack in my foundation!
And when she drown'd my suit
With five aces from her boot —
Well, I had to seek another Situation.
   
  In another place I had
The old dame was music-mad,
She would strum the pianola day and night,
Or she'd keep the gramophone
On the gurgle and the groan,
Till the needle on the record wouldn't bite!
Well, it got so very bad
That it nearly sent me mad,
Once she started it was hopeless to escape her.
When not whistling "Zuyder Zee"
On the butler's pantry key,
She was humming through a comb and tissue paper.
Well, I hope I know my place,
But she went and had the face
To hum a tune all through my conversation!
When she rendered "Home, Sweet Home,"
And I found she'd used my comb!!!
Well, I had to seek another Situation.


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