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British Musical Theatre   The Messenger Boy

No. 6 - Quintet - "Bradshaw's Guide"

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Cosmos: If you want to go by a proper P. & O.,
You will start when dawn is blushing,
Daisy: I had rather vote
For a Hook of Holland boat,
Gascoigne: But it's not so quick as Flushing!
Phunckwitz: I to me must get ein circle-round-billet
So I say good-bye and leaf take;
Le Fleury: I vill take chip-trip
On ze Chatter Doveham ship,
And consque ze British bif-teck!
All: Oh! the Bradshaw's Guide! the Bradshaw's Guide!
Will take you over the world so wide!
There are trains that start and trains that call,
And trains that never get in at all!
There are trains that back and trains that shunt,
And the usual goods' train on in front;
But each and all can be found inside
The incidental, ornamental, continental Bradshaw's Guide.
   
Daisy: But in doubt I am,
Do I go by Rotterdam,
And get to Milan in one day!
Gascoigne: I should recommend
Via Brussels and Ostend!
Cosmos: But the train doesn't run on Monday!
Le Fleury: Mais ze sacré guide
She is what you call cock-eyed
And I will not can endure her!
Phunckwitz: Dat make my brain go schwindelish again!
Der werfluchter Bradshaw führer!
All: Oh! the Bradshaw's Guide! the Bradshaw's Guide!
You cannot know it until you've tried!
It has trains that dep. and trains that arr.
And trains that take you a lot too far!
There are trains too late and trains too soon,
At six o'clock in the afternoon;
It's caused full many a suicide,
That fascinating, irritating, aggravating Bradshaw's Guide.

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