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Woodpecker. But this is not what I want.

Marchioness. (hopping). You said it was an article of my attire.

Woodpecker. Yes — but — it's the other end!

Marchioness. The other end?

Woodpecker. You wear a straw hat?

Marchioness. I was — I mean I do —

Woodpecker. It is for that straw hat that I have conceived this indescribable longing! Is it
not a mad idea?

Marchioness. Mad? Not a bit — most reasonable. I understand perfectly — you want it as a pendant to the slipper.

Woodpecker. (aside). The aristocratic mind seems to go about in slippers!

Marchioness. You shall have it at once, oh divine creature!

Exit MARCHIONESS, hopping off.


Woodpecker. In two minutes the hat will be mine, and then I must be off before they have
time to discover the imposture. I'll tell Maguire that they've no private room to spare at St. James's Hall. I wonder how the old boy is by this time. (Goes to window.) There are the cabs — eight of them! Ha! ha! I can almost hear him growl.

Enter MAGUIRE through curtains, rather tipsy, with a bottle of champagne in one
hand and a glass in the other
. WOODPECKER is leaning out of the window.

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