Utopia Limited

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No. 9: QUARTET (Zara, Fitzbattleaxe, Scaphio & Phantis)
No. 10: DUET (Zara, Fitzbattleaxe)

"It's understood, I think, all round...
Oh admirable art"

Midi Symbol MIDI File [28KB, 3' 24"]


Fitzbattleaxe.
It's understood, I think, all round
That, by the English custom bound,
I hold the lady safe and sound
In trust for either rival,
Until you clearly testify
By sword or pistol, bye and bye,
Which gentleman prefers to die,
And which prefers survival.

Zara & Fitzbattleaxe. Scaphio & Phantis.
We stand, I think, on safish ground; Its clearly understood all round,
Our senses weak it will astound That, by your English custom bound,
If either gentleman is found He holds the lady safe and sound
Prepared to meet his rival. In trust for either rival,
Their machinations we defy; Until we clearly testify
We won't be parted, you and I — By sword or pistol, bye and bye
Of bloodshed each is rather shy — Which gentleman prefers to die,
They both prefer survival! And which prefers survival.

Scaphio. (aside to Fitz.)
If I should die and he should live
To you, without reserve, I give
Her heart so young and sensitive,
And all her predilections.

Phantis. (aside to Fitz.)
If he should live and I should die,
I see no kind of reason why
You should not, if you wish it, try
To gain her young affections.

Zara & Fitzbattleaxe. Scaphio & Phantis.
As both will live, If I should die and you should live
And neither die, To this young officer I give
I see no kind of Her heart so soft and sensitive,
reason why And all her predilections.
You/I should not, If you should live and I should die
if you/I wish it, try I see no kind of reason why
To gain my/your He should not, if he chooses, try
young affections. To win her young affections.
As both of us are positive If I should die and you should live
That both of them intend to live, To this young officer I give
There's nothing in the case to give Her heart so soft and sensitive,
Us cause for grave reflections. And all her predilections.
As both will live and neither die If you should live and I should die
I see no kind of reason why I see no kind of reason why
You should not, if you wish it, He should not, if he chooses,
If you wish it, try If he chooses, try
To gain my/your young affections! To gain her young affections!

Exit Scaphio and Phantis together.

Zara & Fitzbattleaxe.

Oh admirable art!
Oh, neatly-planned intention!
Oh, happy intervention —
Oh, well constructed plot,
Oh, well constructed plot!

When sages try to part
Two loving hearts in fusion,
Their wisdom's delusion,
And learning serves them not,
And learning serves them not!


Fitzbattleaxe.
Until quite plain
Is their intent,
These sages twain
I represent.
Now please infer
That, nothing loth,
You're henceforth, as it were,
Engaged to marry both —
Then take it that I represent the two —
On that hypothesis, what would you do?
Charles Kenningham as Captain Fitzbattleaxe, 1893
click on picture to enlarge

Zara.
(aside) What would I do?
What would I do?
(To Fitz.) In such a case,
Upon your breast,
My blushing face
I think I'd rest. (doing so)
Then perhaps I might
Demurely say,
"I find this breastplate bright
Is sorely in the way!"

Fitzbattleaxe.
Our mortal race
Is never blest.
There's no such case
As perfect rest;
Some petty blight
Asserts its sway.
Some crumbled rose-leaf light
Is always in the way!

Zara. Fitzbattleaxe.
In such a case,
Upon your breast,
My blushing face
I think I'd rest.
Our mortal race
Is never blest.
There's no such case
As perfect rest;
On your breast, Perfect rest;
On your breast, Perfect rest;
In perfect rest! As perfect rest;

Exit Fitzbattleaxe. Manet Zara.

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