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No. 12 - Song - Spider and Tough Girls - "The Modern Gladiator."

MIDI File

Spider: In days of old when knights were bold
and barons held their sway,
Each roystering knight was obliged to fight
or the devil would be to pay.
In these later days there are easier ways
of settling pers'nal quarrels,
For our modern fighters now employ typewriters
to pound out their champion laurels.
I'm a champion pug and I'm up to date.
My wind is good and I'm down to weight.
We spar with our tongues,
deal blows with our lungs.
We train in the papers and say it's great.
Our quarrels are long, our morals short.
We parry a blow with a quick retort;
We fight with our jaws and fracture the laws,
But our quarrels are all of the bloodless sort.
   
  In days of old, so I've been told,
they fought all o'er the map;
And all assert someone got hurt
whene'er they had a scrap.
Now it's different quite.
When I have a fight it's plain as A. B. C.
For the very first thing 'fore I enter the ring
is to buy off the referee.
I'm a champion pug and I'm up to date.
My wind is good and I'm down to weight.
We spar with our tongues,
deal blows with our lungs.
We train in the papers and say it's great.
Our quarrels are long, our morals short.
We parry a blow with a quick retort;
We fight with our jaws and fracture the laws,
But our quarrels are all of the bloodless sort.


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